so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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