I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
