The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
