In the future we'll all be gay
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I need moral support for this bender
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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