I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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