Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
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