I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
