That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
We need a shit load of segways right now
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
