Are we in a gay sports bar?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
