Soap is not a condiment
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
