How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
