I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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