Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
