On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Did I show you my penis last night?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize