I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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