The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
