I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
