Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
