So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
