I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize