do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
