I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
