I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
is wine microwaveable?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
