Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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