I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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