Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
