talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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