i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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