The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
