i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
