If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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