Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
