I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
