still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
