Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
