Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(770): View more from Georgia

she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.

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(705): View more from Ontario

he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me

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(612): View more from Minnesota

and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling

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(802): View more from Vermont

I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.

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(708): View more from Illinois

BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.

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(734): View more from Michigan

You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.

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(703): View more from Virginia

I’m home.

(1-703): View more from Virginia

I’m aware. I just dropped you off.

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