i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
