I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
