I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
