You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
