i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
