For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
