i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
