I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize