Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
