Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
