Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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