if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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