I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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