**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
