You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
