I got chris browned last night
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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