what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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