also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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