The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
