She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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