This girl is more easily done than said...
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
