brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize