You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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