Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
