Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
if only i could text you this smell
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
