i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
