I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
