I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize