you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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